


hiraeth

by kaijubeau



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Amanda (Detroit: Become Human) Being an Asshole, Android Hank Anderson, Angst with a Happy Ending, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Being An Asshole, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has PTSD, Drug Addiction Recovery, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hank Being Awesome, Human Amanda (Detroit: Become Human), Human Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Human Upgraded Connor | RK900, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, as is the standard of all my dbh fics sorry not sorry amanda, connor kinda sucks in this for a while but like so does hank in canon so, connor reallly hates deviants for some reason, even as an android babey, hanks alcoholism translates to an adderall addiction for connor, in case that wasnt clear by the earlier tags, just for a lil bit, please stay safe reading this, reverse au, wanna reiterate on the drug addiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24400078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaijubeau/pseuds/kaijubeau
Summary: hiraeth (n.) – a homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.or, police lieutenant connor riecker has not been home in such a long time. perhaps the very target of his hatred is his saving grace.
Relationships: Amanda & Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Connor & Elijah Kamski, Hank Anderson & Connor, Original Chloe | RT600 & Connor, Past Elijah Kamski/Upgraded Connor | RK900
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	hiraeth

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so ive had this au for some time, but i never really wrote anything for it til now. idk if people even still want reverse au fics but guess what ur getting one anyway. fair warning, the rating is for the violence, though i dont think any more extreme than whats seen in game, the language, courtesy of connor, and the drug addiction mentioned in the tags. i mean no disrespect with this aspect of my story, and no offence in any way at all. addiction is a disease and i sincerely hope anyone suffering from it can get the help they need, as connor eventually will himself.
> 
> as with most of my fics, i had no intention for it to get this long. it just kind of exploded. ive skimmed it over briefly, but let me know if there are any mistakes and i will correct them. and, as always, enjoy! ♡

The glow of the tank in front of him was a gentle, calming blue. This room was Connor’s favorite. There were no bright, blaring fluorescent lights digging into his retinas. There were no speakers situated next to the benches droning listlessly about the species in the tank. The room was quiet, dull almost. Removed from everything, from the world, from all the noise that came with his job. A brightly colored fish darted directly across Connor’s line of sight, and he turned to watch it go. Its bright orange and blue scales glittered as it moved.

He lifted the cigarette in his pale, trembling fingers to his mouth and took a long drag. Smoking was prohibited in the building, but it was eleven at night, Connor had been awake for the past three days, and he really couldn’t find the energy to care. The burning in his chest was a combination of the smoke and chemicals and the guilt that tore into him every time he gave into this addiction. Connor had promised him he would quit.

He wouldn’t be wallowing in grief and self pity, like Connor was. He wouldn’t be having the issues Connor was. He was always the best of the two of them, and Connor had known for a long time that Connor was the one who should’ve been killed. They used to come to this aquarium whenever they could, whenever their busy schedules lined up. It was where Connor came to report in during his undercover job. It was where they’d been walking to when…

“Lieutenant Riecker?”

The voice startled him, but he found himself grateful for it all the same. If his thoughts had continued down that path, the few hours of sleep he was hoping to grab tonight would be plagued by nightmares. As loathe as he was to admit it, he truly did need the rest. After taking another quick drag of the cigarette, Connor turned towards the voice and felt ice drip down his spine. The blue on the temple, around the arm, on its chest in a bright, glowing triangle. It was an android.

Despite his intense exhaustion, the heat of anger burned bright and hot behind his eyes, coiled like magma in his gut. Androids were built to serve humanity. They were built to be slaves. It left a sour taste in Connor’s mouth. But that was better than the rapidly increasing number of deviants. Any android could turn, could just _decide_ at a moment’s notice that it had had enough and lash out at any humans around it. Connor didn’t have much hate left in him. He didn’t have much of anything left in him. But what little hate he did have was extended entirely to deviants, to all androids by default.

Connor was pretty sure androids weren’t even allowed in the building. He took another drag from his cigarette and moved his glasses down over his eyes from where they rested atop his head.

“My name’s Hank,” the android, Hank apparently, continued. Connor continued ignoring it, hoping maybe the thing would go away. It didn’t. “I was sent by the Detroit Police Department. None of the other officers knew where you were. Captain Stern said you were probably here.”

Connor felt a wash of ice flow through him at the mention of the captain. He knew she’d assigned him to something, and here he was ignoring it. Ignoring her, when he knew he had already disappointed her so much. And she knew he was ignoring her, sitting here feeling sorry for himself instead of doing the job he should’ve been fired from months ago. Exhaustion, bone deep and overwhelming, the kind that wouldn’t be fixed with sleep, draped itself over Connor’s shoulders and he felt himself slump with the weight of it. “What do you want?” he murmured, finally tilting his head slightly to acknowledge the android.

Now that he was actually looking at it, Connor realised how bizarre looking it was. Most androids had been designed by CyberLife to be youthful and beautiful, almost inhuman in their perfection. This android looked around fifty years old, with long silvery hair pulled back into a loose ponytail and a neatly trimmed beard. It had wrinkles, crow’s feet around its eyes as if it had spent a lifetime smiling. Connor wondered how long it had been activated for. “You were assigned a case early this evening. A homicide, involving a CyberLife android.” Connor froze, felt the temperature of the room drop, the blood in his veins run cold. Suddenly, he wasn’t in the aquarium anymore, but outside of it, on the sidewalk, watching his entire world fall apart. Watching bright eyes, usually so full of life, go dull and empty. He put the cigarette out on the bottom of his shoe and lit another one. He took a long drag and pretended he couldn’t feel the blood on his hands even now, almost two years later. Pretended they shook only because of his exhaustion. Connor felt nauseous. Why would Amanda assign him this case? “The department sent me out to retrieve you so we can investigate the scene.”

Connor scoffed in disbelief. Not only had Amanda given him this case, knowing his history, she had also sent an android to collect him and expected him to go through the scene with the damn thing. Connor reached a hand up under his glasses to rub his eyes. He was far too tired to be dealing with this. “Well, I don’t need any assistance,” he sneered. “Especially not from a plastic asshole like you. So just be a good little robot and get the fuck out of here.” He took another drag from the cigarette and used his free hand to wave the thing off.

As his life usually went, it didn’t work out. The thing stayed where it was and Connor had the uncomfortable feeling that Hank was scanning him. It seemingly considered its options for a moment and spoke again. Even its voice was old, grizzled. CyberLife had truly outdone itself. “Listen. I think you should stop smoking and come with me. It’ll make life easier for both of us.” Connor scoffed again, shaking his head. Unbelievable. Connor was miles away from the precinct, in an aquarium at eleven twenty something smoking a cigarette. He didn’t think he could make it any more obvious that he had no intentions of working tonight. The android, Hank, shuffled closer, inserting itself into Connor’s line of sight. “I understand that some people are not comfortable in the presence of androids, but I am—”

“I am perfectly comfortable,” Connor interrupted, words clipped. His tense posture and tone were perfect contradictions of his words. He clenched his free hand, using the other to take another hit off the cigarette. Usually the rush of nicotine soothed his frayed nerves once he moved past the initial guilt. However, the android’s presence prevented that, and the lieutenant just wanted the thing gone so he could relax enough to guarantee he’d pass out as soon as he returned home. “Now back off before I crush you like an empty beer can!” It was a completely empty threat. Connor wasn’t certain he could even get up without passing out, let alone fight Hank.

The android was evidently totally aware of that, as it stepped forward and, in a daring move, plucked the cigarette from between Connor’s long fingers. Connor stared, wide eyed, as Hank ground the cigarette out between its fingers without so much as a grimace. “You really shouldn’t smoke so much, lieutenant. It’s extremely unhealthy.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda the _point_ ,” Connor quipped, reaching a hand down towards his old coat’s pocket to retrieve his pack. “Fuckin’ android…”

He about jumped out of his skin when a hand suddenly snatched onto his wrist, holding it steady in front of his chest. Connor looked up and was face to face with the android’s eyes. Connor hadn’t really paid them any attention before, but now he couldn’t tear his gaze away from them. They were blue, a familiar and painful blue, and Connor was pinned by their piercing gaze. “I’m afraid I must insist, lieutenant.” Its tone was a little more firm now, almost sounding annoyed. It would’ve been rather convincing if not for the serene blue light on its temple, expression totally blank. They didn’t care, not about anything, and it was ridiculous to be angered by that but Connor had lived most of his life ridiculously and he didn’t see any reason for that to change now.

Connor wrenched his hand from Hank’s grasp, brown eyes narrowed dangerously as he snarled. “Listen, asshole-” His rant, sure to be one of his greatest, was cut off by his phone buzzing in his pocket. Connor checked the notification and groaned, eyes rolling towards the ceiling as if its clean tiled surface would offer him any answers as to why God Himself hated him. There were two messages from Amanda, one from earlier that he had ignored to come to the aquarium. The other had just been sent.

**oh captain my captain** | **11:25 p.m.**

 _Do not disappoint me, lieutenant_.

There were a couple other messages, some of the other officers asking where he was. Connor didn't bother responding to any of them. He heaved a very long, over dramatic sigh, and forced himself to his feet. He was tired. He was so, so tired, and he knew that going anywhere near the crime scene would push far too many memories to the forefront of his mind for any sleep to be possible tonight. A sickening sense of dizziness overwhelmed him and black splotches danced in his vision as soon as he was fully up. He felt a steadying hand on his elbow and would've flinched away from the damn plastic if he thought he could've stayed standing afterwards.

“Lieutenant, your blood sugar levels are dangerously low,” the android informed him, still holding firm to Connor's elbow. “Perhaps you should eat something before we investigate the scene.”

Connor wrenched his arm out of the thing's grip and scowled. “Perhaps you should shut the fuck up. The only reason you're even coming is because I can't afford the damage compensation CyberLife would bill me. Let's go.” With that, Connor turned and began heading out of the aquarium, lighting up another cigarette now that 'Hank’ was too far behind him to snatch it. The familiar burn coursed through his lungs as he exited the building and headed for his old car. He'd almost hoped the android would take the hint and leave him alone, but the sound of the passenger door opening sunk that ship. It at least didn't make a grab for his nicotine, so Connor figured they were getting somewhere.

He dropped his head against the steering wheel with a thump. He was completely exhausted, his nerves were shot and he wasn't in any state to be going to a crime scene. He turned the key in the ignition and listened as the engine of the old car sputtered to life. Music blasted from the speakers and Connor didn't bother turning it down. It would serve to discourage any further attempts at conversation. Hank seemed to have finally gotten the point, as Connor saw it open its mouth but then quickly snap it shut once more. Connor could only hope this damn case would be an open and shut one, something he could breeze through and be done with in a couple hours.

* * *

Pulling up to the scene, Connor haphazardly rolled to the curb, knowing he would be gone long before the road was cleared and therefore not worried about blocking any traffic. He doesn't move for a moment, clenching and unclenching his hands around the steering wheel before turning and removing the key from the ignition. The music shut off and the plastic next to him doesn't waste any time in jumping on the opportunity.

“Lieutenant, perhaps you should wait in the car. I have a variety of features making me more than capable of examining the scene and then reporting back to you.” It still had that same blank look on its face, LED spinning a plain blue as Connor turned to stare at it. He was too gobsmacked to speak, for a moment, but said moment quickly passed.

“Are you stupid?” Connor snapped. “You’re a plastic, they won’t let you in. And besides, you really think you can drag me out here and then tell me to not even look around the scene?” With that, Connor gracelessly crawled out of his car and slammed the door shut once his feet hit solid pavement. He’d much rather be home right now, in bed trying to sleep, but now that he was already here he wasn’t going to just sit around twiddling his thumbs. As he approached the shitty, rundown house he heard his passenger door creak open and then shut, much more gently than Connor had. Connor turned and saw the stupid thing right on his heels and he huffed out an annoyed groan. He moved through the holo tape, already seeing Ben waiting to debrief him.

Before he could get there, he heard a tinny voice announcing, “Androids are not permitted beyond this point.” 

Connor’s shoulders slumped and he didn’t bother turning around to respond as he drug his hands down his face. “It’s with me.” He heard gravel crunching, signifying the thing was following him, and he moved forward once more. He lifted his gaze from the ground as he approached the steps of the house, meeting Detective Collins’ gaze.

“Hey kid, we were starting to think you weren’t gonna show.”

Connor shook his head as he looked through the shuttered windows, trying to gain a sense of what had happened. “Yeah, that was the plan until this asshole showed up.” Connor jerked his head back, towards the android behind him. The thing was looking around silently, piercing blue eyes analysing the yard. Connor stuffed his hands into the pockets of his old coat as he stepped onto the deck and out of the rain.

Ben gave him a wry look. “So, you got yourself an android, huh?”

Connor scowled at the older detective. “Ha ha, real fuckin’ funny. Just tell me what happened.”

Connor listened silently as Ben told him the basics. The victim hadn’t paid rent in a while, so the landlord dropped by to see what was going on and found the body. As Connor stepped into the house, he cringed and brought an arm up to his nose. Ben offered a sympathetic half smile.

“Yeah, I know. It was even worse before we opened the windows.”

Connor rolled his eyes before continuing on into what appeared to be the living room of the house. The body was slumped against the far wall, and his chest was absolutely littered with stab wounds. Judging by the awful stench and the state of the body itself, Connor would guess the guy had probably been dead for a good three weeks.

“Vic’s name is Carlos Ortiz,” Ben continued. “Record of theft and aggravated assault. Neighbours say he was kind of a loner, mostly stayed inside. There’s a kitchen knife over there, probably the murder weapon.”

Connor turned to look at it. It certainly fit the bill, looking as if it could’ve been dropped as the killer backed away from the body. It was drenched in blood. Connor looked around the room. While there were overturned tables and chairs, there weren’t any signs of ransacking. He glanced over to Ben. “Were there any signs of a break in?”

The older detective was already shaking his head. “No, the landlord said the door was locked from the inside. All of the windows are boarded up, so the killer must’ve gone out the back way.”

Connor looked at the wall above the body, where words had been scrawled in inhumanly perfect font with what appeared to be the victim’s blood. “What do we know about his android?”

“Not much,” Ben admitted. “The neighbours confirmed he had one, but it wasn’t here when we arrived. Look, I gotta get some fresh air. I’ll be outside if you need me.” With that, Ben departed, giving Connor’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he passed. Connor leaned against a wall as he gave the living room another once over. His head was swimming, and he really wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to stay upright without assistance. He watched as the android moved about the room, examining the knife before crouching down next to the body.

After a moment, the thing sat back on its haunches as it tilted its head to look at Connor. “He was stabbed _twenty eight_ times.”

Connor shrugged his shoulders indifferently. “Yeah, well, guess the killer really had it out for him.” Hank gave him an indecipherable look and Connor pushed himself off the wall to look at the nearby table, to get away from those eyes. Most of the house was a mess, the man seemed like a pig, so it wasn’t really a surprise for the tabletop to be a cluttered disaster as well. What sent Connor reeling mentally was the small plastic bag of red crystals that Connor had seen far too much of. “Red ice… Seems our friend Carlos liked to party.” Connor turned to the nearest officer, Chris, and called out, “Chris, I want a full analysis on the narcotics.”

The officer nodded. “Consider it done, lieutenant.” Connor wrapped his arms around himself as he moved back to leaning against the wall. He’d seen enough. The android was now crouched down once more a little in front of him. Connor watched as it appeared to be examining some blood stains. He about dropped down the wall when he saw the thing run its finger through the blood and bring it up to its mouth.

“Oh, Jesus, what the fuck are you _doing_?” Connor felt like he was going to be sick as he watched the thing _lick_ its fucking bloodied finger. What the _fuck_ was happening.

The android looked up to Connor as it answered. “I’m analysing the blood.” Its tone was nonchalant, as if it were a regular everyday occurrence to watch someone lick actual blood. “I can check samples in real time. Shoulda warned you, sorry.” Connor took a good few minutes to bury his face in his hands, glasses ending up smooshed against his nose. This fucking thing seriously had sensors on its damn tongue that essentially turned it into a forensic lab on legs. It was able to analyse blood on the spot. Because of its tongue, which had functioning sensors on it. Connor was seriously not equipped to deal with this.

He heard the faintly metallic sound of the thing’s footsteps as it traveled throughout the house, pausing to presumably examine pieces of evidence. Connor was seriously considering hunting the fucking thing down and dragging it out to his car, or just leaving without it, when he heard it pause directly in front of him.

“Lieutenant Riecker? I think I’ve figured out what happened.”

Connor pushed his glasses to the top of his head and pressed his palms into his eyes, watching sparks dance across the blackness before pulling his hands away, nudging his glasses back down to their skewed place on his nose. “Oh yeah?” he sneered. “Well, let’s hear it.”

Hank’s LED spun a quick cycle of yellow, and if it were human Connor would've sworn he saw the faintest twitch of annoyance on its face. But it wasn't human and Connor was fairly certain he was just losing it from the stench coupled with his lack of sleep. “It all started in the kitchen.”

Connor remembered the kitchen having the most clear signs of a struggle. Chairs kicked over, the table tipped sideways, a dented bat rolled across the floor, and a very obvious empty space where knives were hung up along the wall. Connor moved to stand in the kitchen entryway, arms crossed. Hank moved to stand next to him, hands clasped behind its back. “Yeah, there are obvious signs of a struggle,” Connor murmured, glancing at the android out of the corner of his eye. “Question is, what exactly happened.”

“The victim attacked the android with the bat.” Sounded about right. Connor knew the dent in the bat certainly couldn't have come from hitting a human.

“Lines up with the evidence… Proceed.”

Hank looked out into the kitchen, pausing for a moment. Its eyes wandered the chaos of the scene, brows seemingly slightly furrowed. It then turned to look right at Connor as it finally spoke. “The android stabbed the victim. It was defending itself.”

The words sent an icy chill through Connor, especially coming from the mouth of another android. Connor remembered growing up reading science fiction books, watching science fiction movies, reading about Asimov’s Laws, thinking about how cool it would be when robots were finally built and became commonplace. Now, he was about ready to bust his knuckles open on the stupid android’s nose. He didn’t know what parameters androids were built with now, but he knew one thing. Connor turned to it with his fiercest glare on display. “No fucking plastic has the right to hurt a human.” The android’s LED once again cycled a dull yellow. It gave Connor an almost assessing look before once again turning to the kitchen.

“Afterwards, the victim fled to the living room.” Connor let out a huff of annoyance as he followed it back out, tracing the path of the victim as they moved into the living room.

“He was trying to get away.” Connor nodded as he placed a fist under his chin. “Now, _that_ makes sense.”

They came to a halt standing above the victim. The stench was almost overwhelming this close up, but Connor would be damned if he left the scene early. He’d catch hell over it later. He looked down at the body for a moment before moving to once again read the unnaturally perfect lettering on the wall. “The android murdered the victim with the knife,” Hank concluded. He then turned to Connor, seemingly waiting for his response.

Connor’s hands, gripping his arms as they were crossed over his chest, tightened their hold. He’d really hoped the android would fuck something up, with how confident it was approaching him a few brief minutes after they’d arrived. It was the exact thing Connor had concluded upon examining the scene. He glared down the android for a moment before quickly turning back away. “Okay, so your theory’s not totally ridiculous. Doesn’t tell us where the android is now, though.”

Hank looked back out over the crime scene, eyes coming to a halt on the bat. “Well, it was damaged, and it lost some Thirium.” Thirium. More commonly referred to as blue blood, it was what kept androids’ biocomponents functioning. It was also a key ingredient of red ice and another thing Connor had seen more than enough of. There was one glaring issue with using that to track the android, however.

“Thirium evaporates after a few hours, though, we can’t see it.” The android looked almost surprised for a moment. A decent amount of people weren't aware of the official name for blue blood, let alone its chemical reactions to extended exposure to oxygen. Connor felt heat burning behind his eyes. He didn’t get Lieutenant as young as he was sitting on his ass while others conducted investigations and research. Connor watched as it lifted a single eyebrow, an eerily human gesture. He huffed out a tired laugh. “You can still see it, can’t you.” It wasn’t really a question, the way he’d said it, but Hank responded anyway.

“Correct.”

So maybe the android would be useful for something. If it helped get a murderer into custody, a deviant android murderer no less, then Connor really couldn’t complain too much. Well. Verbally, anyway. Connor leaned back against the wall as Hank stared hard at the floor, presumably following a trail of blue blood that had long since vanished from human sight. He didn’t really expect anything to come of it. He couldn’t imagine the android would’ve stayed there for weeks, out of sight somewhere instead of trying to escape. Figuring this stupid investigation was coming to a close, Connor was even more startled by the sound of something briefly scraping against the floor. He whirled around the wall to see the android in the kitchen, one of the chairs in its hands. Did this fucking thing seriously just disturb an active crime scene?

“Hey, hey, hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing with that?” he snapped. The android didn’t even bother to turn to him as it responded, and Connor swore he could feel a migraine coming on.

“I’m going to check something,” it said simply.

Connor rolled his eyes, laughing disbelievingly. “Goin’ to check something, Jesus…” When he went in to work tomorrow, he and Amanda were going to have _words_. For the moment, Connor watched as the android turned down the hall, placing the chair underneath what appeared to be the latch to a staircase leading up to an attic. Connor watched as it carefully climbed up the chair and lifted itself into the attic, moving out of sight. Connor watched the entrance expectantly, fully expecting the android to come back down and report it empty. When he heard frantic scuffling, and two distinctly different pairs of footsteps, he quickly climbed the chair and hauled himself into the attic, drawing his gun as he advanced through the dusty space. He could hear a voice, not Hank, speaking, and turned to follow it.

“…was gonna kill me. I’m _begging_ you, please don’t tell them.” The voice was so full of emotion, disturbingly so. Its owner sounded scared. Connor moved faster.

“I…” And that was Hank’s voice, the sound of it making his blood run cold as it sounded very much not like the robotic tone Connor had heard from him all evening. It sounded conflicted, hesitant. “I can try and lead them—”

Connor rounded another corner and was upon them, his hands raising to level the gun at the other android. An HK400, a simple housekeeping model. Its uniform was a horrible mess, blood splattered across the whole thing and reaching all the way up to the android’s forehead. The synthetic skin of its right arm was peeled almost completely back, unable to retain itself due to the large crack running across its forearm. The left forearm was littered with what appeared to be burn marks. Its entire posture stiffened from the somewhat relaxed position it had begun to take upon hearing Hank when it saw Connor with a pistol aimed directly at its head, where a bullet would tear through its CPU and kill it before it even hit the ground if Connor fired. Its LED blinked a frenetic red pattern as its eyes darted between Connor and Hank, seeming terrified, seeming desperate. 

Connor turned a brief glare to Hank. “What the _fuck_ were you about to do, huh?”

Hank, for its part, displayed a sluggishly turning yellow LED as it looked down at the lieutenant. “I was merely further assessing the situation.”

“Bullshit!” Connor practically hissed. “You told me yourself exactly what happened, there isn’t anything more to assess.” Connor turned back to the deviant, swiftly cutting off whatever feeble defence Hank had been about to offer. Tomorrow, when Connor hopefully had a somewhat decent amount of sleep under his belt, he’d deal with the thing. Connor slowly lowered one hand to pull his handcuffs out and tossed them to the floor at the deviant’s feet. “Put them on, nice and slow. Don’t try anything fucking stupid.”

The deviant shot a pleading glance to Hank before it slowly knelt down, taking the handcuffs with trembling hands. As it slowly clipped them into place, it turned those pleading eyes to Connor. “Please… He would’ve killed me, I was defending myself.”

Connor’s vision went a blazing red and he cocked his gun steadily, a warning sign. “You’re a fucking machine. You don’t get to take a human life. Move it.”

Connor led the thing back down to the main floor and into Ben’s waiting hands, feeling Hank’s eyes on him the whole time. The deviant occasionally tilting his head back to look at Connor, looking so scared, so _human_ —

Connor left as soon as Ben had custody of the thing, knowing he would be getting no sleep that night as the heavy weight of Hank’s gaze continued to follow him to his car and settled comfortably onto his shoulders as he collapsed into his bed that night.


End file.
